Screaming evil
Voices persistant
In their critisism
Hope long since distant

An ugly waste
Unlovable drain
With irrelevant thought
Other people’s pain

All I can hear
Constantly drumming
Each day belief erodes
Self hatred flooding

Frantic despair
Pure hatred defined
Desperate for quiet
Terminate my mind


Dead eyes
Give away the game
I already see me in them
Some days I question
What’s really more damaging?
Do they stand a better chance Without my impression

Fake smile
Held for wider world
Unsustainable each moment;
We share together
Learning through observation
Imbedding negativity
Masking all life’s pleasure

Gift you
Shot at happiness
By removing overbearing
Dark cloud I impose
Wish grief could be avoided
Lesser of unfortunate evil
Sacrifice for you to grow

Scratched Record

Mind on repeat
Scratched record
Over and over
I want to die

Every silenced moment
Episode of fear
When the lights turn out
I want to die

Between false smile
Exaggerated laugh
Magical moments
I want to die

How to express
Make it crystal clear
Can’t voice the words
I want to die

Want to be saved
Whilst wishing you could
Help me achieve
My want to die


They branded you selfish
I think you were brave
No longer willing;
To be a slave

Damaging those you love
Dark clouds contagious
Releasing their noose;
Feels courageous

Mentally engrossed with
Preparing to die
Tired and ready;
To say goodbye